Rebuilding Trust: 

Acceptance, Love, and Understanding

Throughout our lives, our trust is broken by many different experiences and people. If you are breathing, your trust has been broken. The feeling that goes with broken trust is betrayal. We feel betrayed when trust is broken—whether by a lack of action, a lie told, or an action that crosses a boundary.

And yet, many times we want to trust again. We want to repair the relationship but often don’t know when—or how—to begin. What needs to be present in a relationship to start the journey of restoring trust? Three things must be present before we can take the risk of trusting again: Acceptance, Love, and Understanding.

1. Acceptance

Rebuilding trust can begin with something simple yet profoundly difficult—acceptance. It starts when someone listens without judging or assuming the worst about us—when they can see our brokenness for what it truly is, without trying to fix or minimize it. Acceptance means allowing our emotions about what happened to exist without dismissing them or using them against each other. 

Acceptance also means resisting the urge to slip into victimhood. It calls us to stay present —both to ourselves and to the other person—without defensiveness. Acceptance asks, Can I be authentic here? Can I show my true pain without overwhelming the other?

It requires honesty—honesty with ourselves about what we’re feeling and experiencing, and a willingness for the other person to stay present with us in it. That’s where trust begins to grow again: tender, but real.

2. Love

The next step in rebuilding trust is learning how to give and receive love again. At its core, love is wanting the best for the other person—the object of your affection. It shows up through humility, the quiet willingness to not always have your own way.

Love stays present when things get uncomfortable instead of retreating or abandoning. It offers help when times are hard, choosing to walk toward rather than away. It stays open to new ways of doing things, new ways of relating.

Love pays attention—it attunes to the other’s needs, emotions, and signals. And perhaps most importantly, it cares without needing to be rewarded. This kind of love is unhurried, unforced, and without self-serving motives. It’s in this steady exchange of humble, present love that trust slowly starts to feel safe again.

3. Understanding

The third essential step in rebuilding trust is understanding.

To feel understood is to feel seen, valued, and safe again. Understanding often begins with simple, human gestures: leaning forward, maintaining an open expression, making eye contact. It asks, Can you put yourself in my shoes? Can you focus on me with sincerity and care?

Understanding shows up through empathy and compassion—through asking thoughtful, curious questions and listening deeply. It means paraphrasing what has been said so that each person has been heard. It does not require agreement or shared perspective—only the willingness to connect. Sometimes, understanding comes through sharing a similar story—a gentle way of saying, “You’re not alone.”

The Journey Forward

Acceptance, Love, and Understanding form the foundation of rebuilding trust. Each one requires courage and humility. Together, they create the environment where trust can take root again—not perfectly, but genuinely.

Trust rebuilt is never quite the same as before—it’s deeper, wiser, and more aware. And perhaps that is its greatest strength.

Ministries
Couples Recovery